“Valentine’s Day is coming!”

For some people that’s great to hear. It brings on thoughts of chocolate, red hearts, naked cherubim shooting arrows and the general celebration of romance.

You might think that the Kink Academy would be all about a holiday based around relationships…but we’re not. If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day, hurrah for you! Get on with your heart-shaped self!

The thing is, the holiday has a darker side for those who might not be in a situation of having someone to celebrate it with. It’s also often so heavily commercialized or given so many expectations that it almost seems to tarnish the idea of healthy intimacy.

A lot of places create “anti-valentine” parties as a reaction to the over-sweetening of February 14th, and again, if that’s your jam, we support you! However, that’s still reacting to the original holiday – and while it may provide some bitter satisfaction, it also kind of falls into the category of “yucking someone else’s yum” – and we try not to do that here at Kink Academy.

DIY Holidays

The thing is, a holiday is kind of like art: the only thing needed to make it exist is to say that it does. And there are a lot of holidays to choose from: Princess Kali loves the idea of “Galentine’s Day” (created on the series Parks & Recreation) which is celebrated February 13th as a gathering of femme-presenting friends (if you’re feeling left out, try the more gender-neutral “Pal-entine’s Day”).

Graydancer, on the other hand, likes the day after Valentine’s Day, which in Roman times was the feast of Lupercalia. Check out the way that was celebrated:

‪ …many of the noble youths and of the magistrates run up and down through the city naked for sport and laughter striking those they meet with shaggy thongs. And many women of rank also purposely get in their way, and…present their hands to be struck, believing that the pregnant will thus be helped in delivery, and the barren to pregnancy.”‬

Now that’s a kinky holiday (it’s also his birthday, so maybe it explains something about Graydancer).

Alternatives to Roses & Chocolates

The whole idea of sending cards for Valentine’s Day started in the 18th Century in the English and French royal courts – kind of a weird thing when you think about it, since “St. Valentine” doesn’t really have anything to do with love or couples at all. Somebody just thought the date made a good excuse to send a card – so why couldn’t you do the same?

• If you’re into dominance and submission, have a “D/s Day” where you create your own kinky cards talking about things you’d like to do for (or to) the object of your affections.
• Fun fact: most asses look like upside-down hearts. Pick out your favorite form of ass play – external or internal – and find a way to let your partner know that you’re interested. Maybe simply leaving an interesting sex toy somewhere they’ll find it?
• Fun fact part deux: many vulvas, especially with the labia spread, also look like hearts! If you (or a partner) happen to have access to a vulva to play with, this is the perfect excuse to spend an evening finding fun ways to explore and stimulate that part of the body.
• Nothing says “holiday” like decorations, and with kink there are So. Many. Ways…to decorate a body. Whether it’s a new outfit, a needle pattern, or a nice new set of cane strokes, knowing that it’s happening on a particular day is all it takes to make that day special – and then you simply do it again next year, so it’s now tradition!

Creating Days of Passion

The whole idea of creating your own kinky holiday is to create a time when your own particular passion and joy can be celebrated – something that comes intrinsically, from your own authentic kinky self, rather than just some marketer’s idea of what it should look like.

Sharing your holiday with other can be a fun thing – but what if you can’t find anyone to celebrate with? Don’t let it stop you. You’ve heard of taking a “Personal Day” at work – this is a “Personal Holiday.” In addition, it’s worth it to share your idea for a personal holiday with friends you trust, just on the off chance they either share your enthusiasm or simply want to join you for that special time.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, here at Kink Academy we hope it is yummy and juicy and full of passion. If you come up with any fun new ideas for your own kinky holiday, please let us know!